R.I.P. Jack LaLanne

As I was sitting around reminiscing about in Lah-Lah Land today, while wondering why I’m not seeing enough stories & news articles about physical fitness but rather multitudes of ads including slogans pointing more toward the easy-way out in losing weight without any actual physical implementation of exertion other than to pop pill-forms of diet & muscle-building substances, including fast-food types of both diet & energy inducing bars & liquids, for example the latest fad in busting fat – the Acai-berry diet capsules, I was moving around anyway, little by little, in increments, letting my aches & pains take a breather from the weekend’s work-at-play/play-at-work endeavours & boy-toyz I like to delve into every now & again, like learning how to shoot & maintain these really cool beebee rifles called Daisies (yet another blog in the werks & to follow) to improve not only the flappy condition of my semi-lifeless computer-sprout arms but also with an effort to diversify my hobbies, interests & pursuits in crossing off as many items on my bucket list within the shortest period of time that is possible for me to do, blah blah blah… when my friend suddenly brought to my attention how Jack LaLanne passed on, fit at the age of 96.

 

 

Busting the myth

 

No sooner did I hear this, when I immediately snapped outta my dream world & carefully listened to what they had to say about the self-proclaimed Godfather Of Fitness, who apparently had the longest-running exercise show on TV & is the inventor of the most famous juicer.

Giving masculinity some muscle

This most positively influential man of stature in our history, who at one earlier point of his fame was warned he’d give people heart attacks, not only passed on his physical fitness & healthy-lifestyle tips for a great majority of the past century to both young & old alike, charismatic Jack LaLanne was a feisty developer of fame alone just by his display of enthusiasm along with being an enthusiast of his self-invented juice bar, enlightening while entertaining people of all races, creed & colour, flamboyantly standing out within an era wherein alcohol was the adult’s choice beverage of the time for lightening up drabby gatherings of individuals, never mind motivating the flabby.

 

 

 

Red Skelton is milking it for all it's worth

 

PLAYTHINGS kept under wrap

A timeless artifact

It’s strange how a small object can appear out of nowhere, or so it seems, & when we take a glance at it after not seeing it for a very long time, all the memories & stories behind it all seem to come flowing out, almost like they’re in a song. I can now smell the original aroma of this perfume just by thinking about it & now that I recall, I once had this very same brand decades ago.

As young children, I think we all tried to copy our elders at one point or another, while trying to keep it under wraps from anyone. One of the most embarrassing moments I recall was when my mother found the toenail scissors & long locks I cut from my sides with them so I could make sideburns like the funky go-go gals I saw on the Laugh-In show, yet she never noticed that I even had them around my face for some time already. Go figure!

Cashing in on a bad hair day

Now that I’ve had a chance to reflect further upon oddities, there was once a bright & sunny day I appeared out of nowhere to help vacuum a friend of mine’s home, and just as I finished the main floor & proceeded to move on to the upper floor, a dark shadow resembling that of a human form seemed to appear out of nowhere & crossed my path on the landing. I was all alone in the house at the time this happened & could not find a logical explanation for it after checking out the angles of light in the house. So, I stopped what I was doing & decided to go back down to the main floor, prepare myself a cup of black tea & collect my thoughts while watching the leaves steep, but before I even made it into the kitchen, I almost stepped flat in the middle of a neat little pile of debris at the bottom of the stairs that included dirt, leaves, twigs & a flattened copper penny – sorta like the kind one might end up with after placing it on a railroad track. Well, I knew there was a penny just like this one hidden in the house somewhere by the owner, so I ran to see if it was still where they had put it & it was. So, where the heck did this penny come from & why was it sitting amidst a pile of debris in a spot that I had just vacuumed thoroughly? The only other explanation I can think of is that I made a friend that day & perhaps it was a ghost or a spirit of some kind who admired my own spirit & determination, while also having a mischievous side to them as well. All in all, I must say that it found its match in me that day & brought along some amusement to humour as well as test me out on an otherwise seemingly doldrummy kinda day.

Perhaps some day again I might find another time capsule of some sort like the ones I’ve been speaking of here – maybe in the ceiling tiles or behind a drawer somewhere – and it will tell me another little tale of what a young child may have been playing at.

Hiding imperfections can be a breeze

Help My Friends & I To STAMP OUT BULLIES

 

I just opened a friend’s message from the other day & I am f*cking shocked, to say the least here, because I found out that another child took her own life because of being bullied (& God, please help to put their poor soul to rest). 

I AM AN ALL-OUT SUPPORTER AGAINST ALL TYPES OF BULLYING, believe me, for as I’m sure you probably already know about me (if you’ve read any of my blogs &/or heard anyone’s idle chatter or gossip about me in the past) I have been a victim of this type of abuse for a long while now & it’s taken me a helluva long time to recover from it & finally come back out of my shell. I was explaining to a good friend of mine last night how being the recipient of emotional abuse is far worse than being physically abused because of its lasting scars & the way it can take away your self-esteem & confidence.

One of my ongoing hobbies is reading as much as I can about this up-&-coming syndrome that seems to be festering amongst the younger generation in particular, and I feel that it’s high time those concerned individuals in my circle all group together to stamp out bullies altogether & put an end to them for good, for there is great strength in numbers, I have learned. Not only that, I find it appalling when I look at the statistics on the rise of people who felt no other alternative but to commit suicide & ultimately become just another number. Either way, I have taught myself (especially within the last year) on how to overcome these negative feelings, along with the destruction & damage they cause, just by keeping my chin up & my head held high, while knowing deep down inside that I stand for something & that I was put on the face of the Earth for a good reason, and I am very optimistic that some day I can help teach (those who really need it) the basic social life skills that really make a difference in people’s lives.

 

Remember, we're only HUMAN

 

 

Getting Into The Spirit of Things

 

 

 

Houdini séance

When I was just a little kid, I read a paperback regarding unexplainable phenomena & there was a chapter in there which dealt with mysterious disappearances. It described a séance that took place which involved Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & its sole purpose was to try to communicate with the missing passengers of a plane. From what I remember, it described the séance member(s) actually communicating with the people who had mysteriously disappeared & what stands out most vividly in my mind from having read this around 4 decades ago is the fact that the missing persons informed the séance participant that “they are not allowed to communicate with the people on Earth & that this is only an exception, that they are now some type of spirits floating around without a body like we have & that they do not have the ability to eat or drink as we do, yet they are at peace with themselves & each other”.

After having read this, I was no longer afraid of dying. On the other hand, I was once approached by a person suffering from some type of manic depression who told me they wanted to commit suicide, to which I replied, “Why would you want to kill yourself for? Don’t you know that when you’re dead you’ll never be able to eat to your heart’s content or even be able to enjoy your favourite beer?”

The sky’s the limit

 

Setting mind’s eye

Now, I don’t want to be morbid or show any disrespect toward this person or their family, but truth be told, they ended up doing themselves in anyway & I vowed to myself thereafter to visit their grave every year on their birthday & pour a tall-can of their favourite brew over their resting spot just to give them a taste of what they’ve been missing, even though I already knew they wouldn’t be able to taste what this good life had offered them to begin with when, in my opinion, they selfishly threw it all away.

Keeping my spirits up

  

“sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything”

~ William Shakespeare

 

 

 

Basic Measures That Easily Confuse

 

As I was taking steps forward in the past few days or so in trying my best to kill as many birds with one stone that I possibly could find the amount of strength & stamina within me to do, there have been a lot of metaphors I have been playing around with in my head while I’ve been making this type of progress, and today, I think I will measure out to you in detail what they are, as I feel they are some of the biggest equations in life that most people either do not adhere to, or are misunderstanding in some way or another.

If you don’t put much effort into figuring things out for yourself with basic measurements in life, or even if you goof up on them sometimes, you’ll be f*cked (excuse my French) on any exam or test. You can always count on me, by the way, to go out of my way to make a point in shedding some light in areas that need to be included every day & may be inadvertently excluded just from not exercising your mind in putting a great deal of thought into what you’re doing & saying, and why.

TENDERIZING - pounding it out

Feel free to add any more to this list I’ve started, because this is only my first shot at it, right off the top of my head, as I most usually have a knack for doing.

• Crossing a milestone… this is a pro (as in, a plus, or + sign)
• Rule of thumb… this should be just about as basic as it can get & if you don’t have a thumb, I guess you’re shit outta luck.
• One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians – this is only a rhyme
• For every inch I give, you take a mile – people trying to take more than you give
• One step forward, two steps back – when you make a step in the right direction, sometimes you get pushed back twice as much from where you were to begin with.
• Compromise is dividing a cake in the way in which everyone thinks they’re getting the biggest piece of cake.
• An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth – NOT!
• Worth your weight in gold – that’s me (hee hee hee)
• Nickel & diming – only when you let people take what you’re worth your weight in salt (1 of the staples in life) & if you keep turning around repeating mistakes you know you shouldn’t be making, you might just turn into a pillar of salt – who knows?
• A load short – a derogatory term for being lame-brained or perhaps even mentally ill, a substitute word for some who prefer not to name-call
• ½ an ounce of truth – you can count on the one (this comes from) to be a liar more often than not
• Meet you halfway  – now this is a good compromise.
• Getting only half of what you bargained for – dem’s da breaks… suck it up!

 

Well, I have a baker’s dozen (that’s 13) of items here that I’ve added to spice up your day. And guess what? I just counted 13 fish sticks in this package that says it contains 12. How’s that for a bonus?

INCH FOR INCH pound for pound

SOMETHING I HAVE HAD IN MY POSSESSION FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW

The BIG EASY ticket's already in your lap without this

Yes! I already have a wonderful life & envelop it in my loving arms to make a mould in which I pour my caring heart & soul into. As the Bible says, MY CUP RUNNETH OVER. I take a look at all the beautiful things there are to make something of & I am never sad. When I awake in the morning, I feel giddy like a child on Christmas morning, seriously! That is because I can hardly wait to enjoy what I already have been gifted with.

I might buy a scratch ticket once a month and I will leave it sitting around for weeks on end until I finally decide I’m going to scratch it, at my leisure. This silly habit of mine used to drive my girlfriend batty when I’d come home from work & she’d sit there watching me scratch a square & then put the ticket back on the counter. She would keep asking me when I’d get around to scratching the rest of it clean. And I would just turn around with that squeaky-clean grin of mine and tell her, “Oh, I don’t know… whenever I get around to it, I guess”.

What I’m trying to say here, folks, using only so many words, which is pretty hard for me to do (hahaha), is that nothing is free in this world & you get back what you put into it. There is no such thing as a free ride or an easy way out. But there is such a thing as appreciating the beauty & love that is already there around you & inside of you.

KEEP DREAMING because there is no such place

Flocks of Birds (Heading in the Wrong Direction)

 

I was just listening to Macy’s Day Parade by Green Day & it inspired me to write about one of the topics that have been on my mind this week, while the time is still ripe for frantic shoppers & overspenders that dipped way too far into the cookie jar (so to speak) during the holiday kahfuffle to act loony, like cuckoo birds.

 

Way back when I was in my 20s, I remember visiting a very popular department store called Robinson’s that folded finally after several decades of making a good fortune, in my eyes, from mainly women, believe it or not – but that is only my opinion, and now that I think about it, so did that other store named The Right House, by mostly attracting the elderly ladies, and which was located directly across from Kresge’s – a K-mart, Walmartish, ‘old-fashioned in our eyes nowadays kinda outfit’, because it had a somewhat small-town flavour to it. Now that I think twice about it, I usually just bought 45s in these 5-&-Dime places, or cheap make-up to play around with when I liked dressing up as a gipsy (haha).

 

But what I really wanted to speak about today is how nutty women act in particular when they go shopping for stuff they don’t even need, ringing up their credit cards, to boot! And why, do you ask they do these things? It’s because they’re frustrated about something, as men can also be – and that’s why you see them going crazy in Canadian Tire most of the time.

 

A funny event that happened to me in Robinson’s one day, when I was there during lunch break (from work) to buy my orange-hued Halston & Chloe perfumes (YUCK – for they stained my whites a ghastly colour), is when after riding on the escalator to the upper floor to see if I could find any dresses on sale (while I was there anyway & I had in my possession one of their trusty department-store credit cards), because it was more or less required of me, or should I say MANDATORY to keep up with the Joneses in the office I was working, making peanuts (as in hardly any cash to sustain myself & pay for the necessities) by rushing out to find an appropriate prop for their upcoming do… an office party – big deal!

 

I was never one to shop for too long because I preferred reading books & making crafts instead, during break-times at work & at home as well, plus I try to be simple in all aspects & just grab what I set out to find to begin with. I hate to dilly-dally & don’t like where indecisiveness might come into play if you let it. That’s why I don’t like people who beat around the bush, either, by the way. Now, in getting back to my topic (sheesh, do I like to sway, huh) this woman snatched – and I stress SNATCHED this black & white silky polka-dotted outlandish contraption I found on the bargain rack (& believe me, it wasn’t a bargain) that was pretty ugly in my opinion & just didn’t THE REAL ME (no pun intended). I found her uncalled-for actions rather rude because she asked me right out if I intended to buy it, and I looked at her straight in the face & said, “I wouldn’t have it hanging on my arm for any other reason now, would I?” Hahahaha, I’m still killing myself laughing over the stupidity of some, in this respect alone.

 

Reading magazines here & there, while researching what affects people’s strange behaviour, there is also something I remember seeing somewhere where it said that a woman who has PMS or is on her period, way-elle, she’ll go out & buy things she has absolutely no use for whatsoever while she’s flying out on shopping sprees for hours on end, racking up her credit even higher at these times while her mind is racked with frustration, and the material I was reading pointed out an item a woman might choose, for example a yellow dress with red polka dots. She’ll take it home, maybe wear it once, then let it fade away somewhere in the confines of her probably-messy closet…& I’ll bet my bottom dollar on that, folks! Well, before I leave you to finish tidying out my treasures & trivias I’ve dug out from mine, I shall leave you with an amusing artifact I found on the internet that suits me quite fine for a funky dress-down day, sorta like this one seems to be for me. Check out this chickie! The bird isn’t wearing any shoes to match her outfit. But that’s just like me too, because I don’t need any shoes when I like to wear everyone else’s, & by that I mean putting myself in other people’s shoes. You guys (& I mean that literally) should try it out some time.

 

Fly-by-night outfit

 

NOTE: It took this bird about ½ an hour to write this funkadelic blog & as she glanced out the window directly thereafter, there goes a flock of birds flying right by her (headed in the right direction, by the way) and no, they weren’t people or women, but actually the ones some people shoot down  & eat… ‘right’ outta the sky,  as in this case.

 

 

Lack of Progress Unveiled

 

The following document is something that was given to me by someone who completed a program for anger management around 5 years ago. This was mandatory for them because they were convicted of assault on a lesser charge for a repeated felony of which they had already committed prior to that on others, while under the influence of alcohol (if I may add), but it really does not make much difference whether they were intoxicated or not, because even though they have not been drinking in over 6 years, they are actually, in fact, still abusive.

The person responsible for this document obviously did not pay attention to what the instructions were calling for, because they specifically stated that the individual this was originally meant for should keep this to themselves for future reference, and not show it to anyone. For those of you wondering how this item ended up in my possession, immediately after the program was completed by them, perhaps within a matter of a few weeks, give or take, this person gave it to me one day, just out of the blue. I’m specifically making a strong point in filling you in on this little tidbit of info, just in case you might be wondering if I may have stolen this from them, when it was they who “passed the buck” on… over to me. 

I had been keeping this folded up piece of paper neatly tucked away in a place where even I forgot I had put it. Then a few days ago when I took a cardboard box full of a mess of mixed up stuff I haven’t gone through yet (as in sort out), this item just popped up more or less from right on top of the jumble of papers in there.

When I read it over the other day, I noticed near the bottom where the person had misspelled the word UNRULY which I found to be very amusing in my eyes, to say the least, because from just a glance at the sentence they wrote, it more or less told me that the person thinks they are a ruler & we are the unruly, and perhaps this is the reason why they gave me this very important exercise that was supposed to be the final challenge of the anger management program, because maybe in their mind they were considering me as being unruly & themselves as my ruler.

 

It’s crystal clear to me by now that not only do black-&-white people only see things in black & white (literally) but they do not possess the ability to read between the lines, even though most of the time they’re displayed to them in black & white. I don’t know if I’m being overly presumptuous in this case, but that is for you to decide, and if I may draw your attention to something significant I have noticed in the similarities between a Black Widow spider & a Black & White person, other than the ones which are not often apparent to the majority of the human eye, it is the uncanny sharing of the same first letters of their names (which are capitalized here). For any of you who haven’t had a chance to get to know me either by corresponding with me or reading my interests, I have a passion for noticing quirky stuff like this as well as comparing things when I’m not wearing rose-coloured glasses.

Now that it’s 3 weeks exactly since the person who filled in the above document accused me of being schizophrenic (again) & having sex (to put it mildly here) with “5 guys in a row for 10 – 20 bucks each” (quote unquote) during the last conversation I had with them on my cell phone, when they called me up just out of the blue after not hearing from them for awhile (after which I hung up on them after telling them that the things they are saying to me are making me ill, both mentally and physically), next to the conversation we had the very next day (if you wanna call it that but I prefer to recognize it as only diplomacy on my part) when I said “No” to him in reply to an offer of a ride in the red sporty car he was driving & parked directly behind me while I was seated for a mere matter of a few minutes (if that) waiting to catch a bus just up the street from my house.

What else can I say except that’s all she wrote!*

 

*I cannot believe I just wrote a praiseworthy 750-word blog today; WOW, eh?