Archive | November, 2008

eez formula for living

29 Nov

 

JESUS DIED SO THAT WE MAY LIVE;

JESUS SUFFERED SO THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER.

 

Keeping this li’l tidbit of info in mind, I want you to “picture this”……li’l eez WAY OF PUTTING THINGS into perspective, so to speak . Here is eez FORMULA (self-developed on Friday, November 28, 2008) which sheez applying to her own life & also for every individual in this world in which we live to apply for themselves…

 

Keeping what I’ve already told you in mind, picture plants becoming limp due to a "difficiency" in water (and the reason why I have misspelled deficiency is because, according to the way I see things, WE ARE DIFFERENT), as we being humans, also tend to become limp, thereby losing strength & freshness. This “wilting” (which I have coined it), only requires watering to nurture it back into living. You should only spend 4 hrs/week wilting (which others might refer to as whining, complaining, crying & lamenting). There are 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day. If you multiply 7 days by 24 hours, you get 168 hours. 168 hours in a week! That is a hell of a lot of TIME, ain’t it? And did you know that only 4 hrs spent “dying” is only 2.38% of the whole picture. The other 97.62%, I believe, should be spent “living”. I don’t think that people should drag shit around with them, like wearing an old & stinky diaper, and they shouldn’t let things “eat at them” (not for long, anyway). I have developed “eez personally-developed remedies” for dealing with things that eat at you….’cus people shouldn’t drag that 2.38% of dying into the 97.62% of their living. When I am sad about sumfin’ (as Johnny Depp will say in From Hell), I spend my 97.62% of my living looking at the brighter side of that 2.38% of dying, as

 

IT NEVER HURT ANYONE’S EYES TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE

 

Instead of diminishing that 97.62% of living by a weak, li’l wee 2.38% of shit-baggage, JUST GET ON WITH IT – that 97.62% which “wins by a majority vote”! Let’s put it this way, sugar baby:

 

LIVING…it’s the only 97.62% piece of any pie that you can ever eat all at once without ever having to feel guilty & without ever getting sick from

 

What I have already come to conclude, from “self-teaching" myself about us people, is this: we need positive influences around us, not negative influences. Here is an easy step for us to keep taking for the rest of our lives, if we wish to live, and it’s super easy: STAY FAR FROM NEGATIVE THINGS & STAY CLOSE TO POSITIVE THINGS. That is the only step we all need to take, each & every single day of our lives.

 

Li’l ‘e’ is now doing things “her way”, and has been researching the song MY WAY (orig. by Frank Sinatra). In a German adaptation of this song, Nina Hagen (one of eez many idols) states,

 

der Dreck mußt weg, sonnst bleibt er da, ein ganzes Leben

 

(eez English translation)

the dirt must be gone or it will stay a whole lifetime

 

So, I guess you get my point by now, eh? I am now going to publish something (again) which you should practise: THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM, copied from a psychology book I read over & over again for 6 years, called Just For Today, by Iyanla Vanzant (or something like that). I left this book behind at a job so that an elderly alcoholic woman would read it, and felt it was time for me to help someone else. Here they are (and please pay special attention to points 8 & 10):

 

1.                 Thou shalt make it your business to get in touch with God first each day.

2.                 Thou shalt remember to pray for your mother and your father as soon as you finish praying for yourself.

3.                 Thou shalt honor thyself enough not to take things that do not belong to you, and this includes other people’s people.

4.                 Thou shalt refrain from telling someone something about somebody until you have told that somebody to their face.

5.                 Thou shalt refrain from saying anything to anybody that you would be ashamed or afraid to say to God, to God’s face.

6.                 Thou shalt do no less than two good things for yourself each day.

7.                 Thou shalt do one good thing for another each day.

8.                 Thou shalt confine all whining, complaining and criticizing to every other Wednesday, between the hours of 2:00 A.M. and 3:30 A.M., when the moon is full. When the moon is not full, oh, well, thou shalt wait until it is.

9.                 Thou shalt live fully, or thou shalt not. This choice is yours.

10.            Thou shalt believe the best about everything and everyone until you have concrete evidence from God to the contrary.

 

Until today, you may have believed the old ways and the old laws did not apply to your life today. Just for today, apply each of these commandments to every aspect of your life.

 

Keep telling yourself this as you practise “eez easy step in living”:

  

“TODAY…I am devoted to applying the old-millennium laws to the new-millennium conditions in my life!”

 

 

 take it from "the ditz", who is gonna  now, finally!

 

 

eez formula for living

29 Nov

 

JESUS DIED SO THAT WE MAY LIVE;

JESUS SUFFERED SO THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER.

 

Keeping this li’l tidbit of info in mind, I want you to “picture this”……li’l eez WAY OF PUTTING THINGS into perspective, so to speak . Here is eez FORMULA (self-developed on Friday, November 28, 2008) which sheez applying to her own life & also for every individual in this world in which we live to apply for themselves…

 

Keeping what I’ve already told you in mind, picture plants becoming limp due to a "difficiency" in water (and the reason why I have misspelled deficiency is because, according to the way I see things, WE ARE DIFFERENT), as we being humans, also tend to become limp, thereby losing strength & freshness. This “wilting” (which I have coined it), only requires watering to nurture it back into living. You should only spend 4 hrs/week wilting (which others might refer to as whining, complaining, crying & lamenting). There are 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day. If you multiply 7 days by 24 hours, you get 168 hours. 168 hours in a week! That is a hell of a lot of TIME, ain’t it? And did you know that only 4 hrs spent “dying” is only 2.38% of the whole picture. The other 97.62%, I believe, should be spent “living”. I don’t think that people should drag shit around with them, like wearing an old & stinky diaper, and they shouldn’t let things “eat at them” (not for long, anyway). I have developed “eez personally-developed remedies” for dealing with things that eat at you….’cus people shouldn’t drag that 2.38% of dying into the 97.62% of their living. When I am sad about sumfin’ (as Johnny Depp will say in From Hell), I spend my 97.62% of my living looking at the brighter side of that 2.38% of dying, as

 

IT NEVER HURT ANYONE’S EYES TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE

 

Instead of diminishing that 97.62% of living by a weak, li’l wee 2.38% of shit-baggage, JUST GET ON WITH IT – that 97.62% which “wins by a majority vote”! Let’s put it this way, sugar baby:

 

LIVING…it’s the only 97.62% piece of any pie that you can ever eat all at once without ever having to feel guilty & without ever getting sick from

 

What I have already come to conclude, from “self-teaching" myself about us people, is this: we need positive influences around us, not negative influences. Here is an easy step for us to keep taking for the rest of our lives, if we wish to live, and it’s super easy: STAY FAR FROM NEGATIVE THINGS & STAY CLOSE TO POSITIVE THINGS. That is the only step we all need to take, each & every single day of our lives.

 

Li’l ‘e’ is now doing things “her way”, and has been researching the song MY WAY (orig. by Frank Sinatra). In a German adaptation of this song, Nina Hagen (one of eez many idols) states,

 

der Dreck mußt weg, sonnst bleibt er da, ein ganzes Leben

 

(eez English translation)

the dirt must be gone or it will stay a whole lifetime

 

So, I guess you get my point by now, eh? I am now going to publish something (again) which you should practise: THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM, copied from a psychology book I read over & over again for 6 years, called Just For Today, by Iyanla Vanzant (or something like that). I left this book behind at a job so that an elderly alcoholic woman would read it, and felt it was time for me to help someone else. Here they are (and please pay special attention to points 8 & 10):

 

1.                 Thou shalt make it your business to get in touch with God first each day.

2.                 Thou shalt remember to pray for your mother and your father as soon as you finish praying for yourself.

3.                 Thou shalt honor thyself enough not to take things that do not belong to you, and this includes other people’s people.

4.                 Thou shalt refrain from telling someone something about somebody until you have told that somebody to their face.

5.                 Thou shalt refrain from saying anything to anybody that you would be ashamed or afraid to say to God, to God’s face.

6.                 Thou shalt do no less than two good things for yourself each day.

7.                 Thou shalt do one good thing for another each day.

8.                 Thou shalt confine all whining, complaining and criticizing to every other Wednesday, between the hours of 2:00 A.M. and 3:30 A.M., when the moon is full. When the moon is not full, oh, well, thou shalt wait until it is.

9.                 Thou shalt live fully, or thou shalt not. This choice is yours.

10.            Thou shalt believe the best about everything and everyone until you have concrete evidence from God to the contrary.

 

Until today, you may have believed the old ways and the old laws did not apply to your life today. Just for today, apply each of these commandments to every aspect of your life.

 

Keep telling yourself this as you practise “eez easy step in living”:

  

“TODAY…I am devoted to applying the old-millennium laws to the new-millennium conditions in my life!”

 

 

 take it from "the ditz", who is gonna  now, finally!

 

 

eez formula for living

29 Nov

 

JESUS DIED SO THAT WE MAY LIVE;

JESUS SUFFERED SO THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER.

 

Keeping this li’l tidbit of info in mind, I want you to “picture this”……li’l eez WAY OF PUTTING THINGS into perspective, so to speak . Here is eez FORMULA (self-developed on Friday, November 28, 2008) which sheez applying to her own life & also for every individual in this world in which we live to apply for themselves…

 

Keeping what I’ve already told you in mind, picture plants becoming limp due to a "difficiency" in water (and the reason why I have misspelled deficiency is because, according to the way I see things, WE ARE DIFFERENT), as we being humans, also tend to become limp, thereby losing strength & freshness. This “wilting” (which I have coined it), only requires watering to nurture it back into living. You should only spend 4 hrs/week wilting (which others might refer to as whining, complaining, crying & lamenting). There are 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day. If you multiply 7 days by 24 hours, you get 168 hours. 168 hours in a week! That is a hell of a lot of TIME, ain’t it? And did you know that only 4 hrs spent “dying” is only 2.38% of the whole picture. The other 97.62%, I believe, should be spent “living”. I don’t think that people should drag shit around with them, like wearing an old & stinky diaper, and they shouldn’t let things “eat at them” (not for long, anyway). I have developed “eez personally-developed remedies” for dealing with things that eat at you….’cus people shouldn’t drag that 2.38% of dying into the 97.62% of their living. When I am sad about sumfin’ (as Johnny Depp will say in From Hell), I spend my 97.62% of my living looking at the brighter side of that 2.38% of dying, as

 

IT NEVER HURT ANYONE’S EYES TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE

 

Instead of diminishing that 97.62% of living by a weak, li’l wee 2.38% of shit-baggage, JUST GET ON WITH IT – that 97.62% which “wins by a majority vote”! Let’s put it this way, sugar baby:

 

LIVING…it’s the only 97.62% piece of any pie that you can ever eat all at once without ever having to feel guilty & without ever getting sick from

 

What I have already come to conclude, from “self-teaching" myself about us people, is this: we need positive influences around us, not negative influences. Here is an easy step for us to keep taking for the rest of our lives, if we wish to live, and it’s super easy: STAY FAR FROM NEGATIVE THINGS & STAY CLOSE TO POSITIVE THINGS. That is the only step we all need to take, each & every single day of our lives.

 

Li’l ‘e’ is now doing things “her way”, and has been researching the song MY WAY (orig. by Frank Sinatra). In a German adaptation of this song, Nina Hagen (one of eez many idols) states,

 

der Dreck mußt weg, sonnst bleibt er da, ein ganzes Leben

 

(eez English translation)

the dirt must be gone or it will stay a whole lifetime

 

So, I guess you get my point by now, eh? I am now going to publish something (again) which you should practise: THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM, copied from a psychology book I read over & over again for 6 years, called Just For Today, by Iyanla Vanzant (or something like that). I left this book behind at a job so that an elderly alcoholic woman would read it, and felt it was time for me to help someone else. Here they are (and please pay special attention to points 8 & 10):

 

1.                 Thou shalt make it your business to get in touch with God first each day.

2.                 Thou shalt remember to pray for your mother and your father as soon as you finish praying for yourself.

3.                 Thou shalt honor thyself enough not to take things that do not belong to you, and this includes other people’s people.

4.                 Thou shalt refrain from telling someone something about somebody until you have told that somebody to their face.

5.                 Thou shalt refrain from saying anything to anybody that you would be ashamed or afraid to say to God, to God’s face.

6.                 Thou shalt do no less than two good things for yourself each day.

7.                 Thou shalt do one good thing for another each day.

8.                 Thou shalt confine all whining, complaining and criticizing to every other Wednesday, between the hours of 2:00 A.M. and 3:30 A.M., when the moon is full. When the moon is not full, oh, well, thou shalt wait until it is.

9.                 Thou shalt live fully, or thou shalt not. This choice is yours.

10.            Thou shalt believe the best about everything and everyone until you have concrete evidence from God to the contrary.

 

Until today, you may have believed the old ways and the old laws did not apply to your life today. Just for today, apply each of these commandments to every aspect of your life.

 

Keep telling yourself this as you practise “eez easy step in living”:

  

“TODAY…I am devoted to applying the old-millennium laws to the new-millennium conditions in my life!”

 

 

 take it from "the ditz", who is gonna  now, finally!

 

 

flakes

26 Nov

Flakes! Flakes! Flakes! Flakes!

They don’t do no good

They never be workin’

When they oughta should

They waste your time

They’re wastin’ mine

California’s got the most of them

Boy, they got a host of them

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

They got the Flakes!

 

Flakes! Flakes!

They can’t fix yer brakes

You ask ‘em, Where’s my motor?”

“Well it was eaten by snakes…”

You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit

But they won’t be fixin’ it

They’re lyin an’ lazy

They can be drivin’ you crazy

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

[Take it away, Bob…]

 

I asked as nice as I could

If my job would

Somehow be finished by Friday

Well, the whole damn weekend

Came ‘n’ went, Frankie

[Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?]

‘N’they didn’t do nothin’

But they charged me double for Sunday

 

You know, no matter what you do

They gonna cheat ‘n’ rob you

Then they’ll send you a bill

That’ll get your senses reelin’

And if you do not pay

They got computer collectors

That’ll get you so crazy

Til your head’ll go through th’ceiling’

Yes it will!

 

I’m a moron ‘n’ this is my wife

She’s frosting a cake

With a paper knife

All what we got here’s American made

It’s a little bit cheesey,

But it’s nicely displayed

Well we don’t get excited when it

Crumbles ‘n’ breaks

 

We just get on the phone

And call up some Flakes

They rush on over

‘N’ wreck it some more

‘N’ we are so dumb

They’re linin’ up at our door

 

Well, the toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon

The plumber he says

“Never flush a lampoon!”

The great information

Cost me half a week’s pay

And the toilet blew up

Later on the next day ay-eee-ay

Blew up the next day WOO-OOO

 

We are millions ‘n’ millions

We’re coming to get you

We’re protected by unions

So don’t let it upset you

Can’t escape the conclusion

It’s probably God’s Will

That civilization

Will grind to a standstill

 

And we are the people

Who will make it all happen

While yer children is sleepin’

Yer puppy is crappin’

You might call us Flakes

Or something else you might coin us

But you know you’re so greedy

That you’ll probably join us

 

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re coming to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

flakes

26 Nov

Flakes! Flakes! Flakes! Flakes!

They don’t do no good

They never be workin’

When they oughta should

They waste your time

They’re wastin’ mine

California’s got the most of them

Boy, they got a host of them

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

They got the Flakes!

 

Flakes! Flakes!

They can’t fix yer brakes

You ask ‘em, Where’s my motor?”

“Well it was eaten by snakes…”

You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit

But they won’t be fixin’ it

They’re lyin an’ lazy

They can be drivin’ you crazy

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

[Take it away, Bob…]

 

I asked as nice as I could

If my job would

Somehow be finished by Friday

Well, the whole damn weekend

Came ‘n’ went, Frankie

[Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?]

‘N’they didn’t do nothin’

But they charged me double for Sunday

 

You know, no matter what you do

They gonna cheat ‘n’ rob you

Then they’ll send you a bill

That’ll get your senses reelin’

And if you do not pay

They got computer collectors

That’ll get you so crazy

Til your head’ll go through th’ceiling’

Yes it will!

 

I’m a moron ‘n’ this is my wife

She’s frosting a cake

With a paper knife

All what we got here’s American made

It’s a little bit cheesey,

But it’s nicely displayed

Well we don’t get excited when it

Crumbles ‘n’ breaks

 

We just get on the phone

And call up some Flakes

They rush on over

‘N’ wreck it some more

‘N’ we are so dumb

They’re linin’ up at our door

 

Well, the toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon

The plumber he says

“Never flush a lampoon!”

The great information

Cost me half a week’s pay

And the toilet blew up

Later on the next day ay-eee-ay

Blew up the next day WOO-OOO

 

We are millions ‘n’ millions

We’re coming to get you

We’re protected by unions

So don’t let it upset you

Can’t escape the conclusion

It’s probably God’s Will

That civilization

Will grind to a standstill

 

And we are the people

Who will make it all happen

While yer children is sleepin’

Yer puppy is crappin’

You might call us Flakes

Or something else you might coin us

But you know you’re so greedy

That you’ll probably join us

 

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re coming to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

flakes

26 Nov

Flakes! Flakes! Flakes! Flakes!

They don’t do no good

They never be workin’

When they oughta should

They waste your time

They’re wastin’ mine

California’s got the most of them

Boy, they got a host of them

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

They got the Flakes!

 

Flakes! Flakes!

They can’t fix yer brakes

You ask ‘em, Where’s my motor?”

“Well it was eaten by snakes…”

You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit

But they won’t be fixin’ it

They’re lyin an’ lazy

They can be drivin’ you crazy

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

Swear t’God they got the most

At every business on the coast

[Take it away, Bob…]

 

I asked as nice as I could

If my job would

Somehow be finished by Friday

Well, the whole damn weekend

Came ‘n’ went, Frankie

[Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?]

‘N’they didn’t do nothin’

But they charged me double for Sunday

 

You know, no matter what you do

They gonna cheat ‘n’ rob you

Then they’ll send you a bill

That’ll get your senses reelin’

And if you do not pay

They got computer collectors

That’ll get you so crazy

Til your head’ll go through th’ceiling’

Yes it will!

 

I’m a moron ‘n’ this is my wife

She’s frosting a cake

With a paper knife

All what we got here’s American made

It’s a little bit cheesey,

But it’s nicely displayed

Well we don’t get excited when it

Crumbles ‘n’ breaks

 

We just get on the phone

And call up some Flakes

They rush on over

‘N’ wreck it some more

‘N’ we are so dumb

They’re linin’ up at our door

 

Well, the toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon

The plumber he says

“Never flush a lampoon!”

The great information

Cost me half a week’s pay

And the toilet blew up

Later on the next day ay-eee-ay

Blew up the next day WOO-OOO

 

We are millions ‘n’ millions

We’re coming to get you

We’re protected by unions

So don’t let it upset you

Can’t escape the conclusion

It’s probably God’s Will

That civilization

Will grind to a standstill

 

And we are the people

Who will make it all happen

While yer children is sleepin’

Yer puppy is crappin’

You might call us Flakes

Or something else you might coin us

But you know you’re so greedy

That you’ll probably join us

 

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re coming to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you

eez keepin’ the trap snapped

26 Nov

Guten Tag, my fellow drubies! My arm’s killing me 2day. Had a “bird” earlier on, cus I was feeling a li’l overwhelmed after having to deal with dumb-ass shit, so I’m dedicating today to dunces. When my friend came over this morning (on his 40th b-day), with our usual coffees, breakfast & the latest choice Tales-From-The-Crypt vid (“And All Around The House”), and while we were watching the opening credits, my friend blurts out to me, “you are stupidly dumb”…….and I started laughing so hard, I almost pissed myself, hee hee hee! I had already had the “dunce-theme” in mind today, to begin with. Yesterday my choice quote of the day was one of Albert Einstein’s: WORLD WAR IV WILL BE FOUGHT WITH STICKS & STONES…heh! On another note, since I have been nicknamed “gipsy” (along with “Pflaume”, ha ha!) by my father when I was a just a li’l wee girl, I have been carrying on the “gipsy tradition” ever since that day! Not only have I been living like a gipsy, I was also born with a kind of “second sense” – some people name it the “female intuition” and some people have called women such as myself witches & have persecuted them for it. And since I believe in gipsies, I must also, in turn, “suffer from gipsy curses”…hence the newest nickname I have been coined: “e-DEATH” (and I am now having to “suck up” the e-DEATH gipsy curse). People like me can be very overwhelming at times, to say the least! Here is one example: it’s really hard sometimes to keep their mouths shut (because they are always “ahead of themselves” & have to “get it all out”). A person like myself is quite often I might add, told to shut up, to keep his/her lips zipped, to put a cork in it, to keep the trap snapped, and to close the gate (along with being gently reminded to “staizita  to “stifle”  and  to “halt die Schnautze”  to name a few)….hee hee hee! Some time ago, an elderly woman advised me that sometimes I "must bite my tongue til it bleeds", ha ha! Now, "The Mistress of Switch" is getting back to her original topic of the day, “Dunces”…..I have created a list of  eez “d-werds” dedicated to the dunce (as follows): dip – dipsydoodle – dits – doehead – dumb-ass – dum-dum – dummy – dingbat  (and if you wanna add any you can think of or have coined, please feel free to do so). I am also dedicating the Frank Zappa song, “Flakes”, to all those who have an appreciation for eez “bleck-humour”……hope you have a scrump-dilly-icious day! PS Eez warning of the day…The FLAKES are a cummin’!!!