Flocks of Birds (Heading in the Wrong Direction)

8 Jan


I was just listening to Macy’s Day Parade by Green Day & it inspired me to write about one of the topics that have been on my mind this week, while the time is still ripe for frantic shoppers & overspenders that dipped way too far into the cookie jar (so to speak) during the holiday kahfuffle to act loony, like cuckoo birds.


Way back when I was in my 20s, I remember visiting a very popular department store called Robinson’s that folded finally after several decades of making a good fortune, in my eyes, from mainly women, believe it or not – but that is only my opinion, and now that I think about it, so did that other store named The Right House, by mostly attracting the elderly ladies, and which was located directly across from Kresge’s – a K-mart, Walmartish, ‘old-fashioned in our eyes nowadays kinda outfit’, because it had a somewhat small-town flavour to it. Now that I think twice about it, I usually just bought 45s in these 5-&-Dime places, or cheap make-up to play around with when I liked dressing up as a gipsy (haha).


But what I really wanted to speak about today is how nutty women act in particular when they go shopping for stuff they don’t even need, ringing up their credit cards, to boot! And why, do you ask they do these things? It’s because they’re frustrated about something, as men can also be – and that’s why you see them going crazy in Canadian Tire most of the time.


A funny event that happened to me in Robinson’s one day, when I was there during lunch break (from work) to buy my orange-hued Halston & Chloe perfumes (YUCK – for they stained my whites a ghastly colour), is when after riding on the escalator to the upper floor to see if I could find any dresses on sale (while I was there anyway & I had in my possession one of their trusty department-store credit cards), because it was more or less required of me, or should I say MANDATORY to keep up with the Joneses in the office I was working, making peanuts (as in hardly any cash to sustain myself & pay for the necessities) by rushing out to find an appropriate prop for their upcoming do… an office party – big deal!


I was never one to shop for too long because I preferred reading books & making crafts instead, during break-times at work & at home as well, plus I try to be simple in all aspects & just grab what I set out to find to begin with. I hate to dilly-dally & don’t like where indecisiveness might come into play if you let it. That’s why I don’t like people who beat around the bush, either, by the way. Now, in getting back to my topic (sheesh, do I like to sway, huh) this woman snatched – and I stress SNATCHED this black & white silky polka-dotted outlandish contraption I found on the bargain rack (& believe me, it wasn’t a bargain) that was pretty ugly in my opinion & just didn’t THE REAL ME (no pun intended). I found her uncalled-for actions rather rude because she asked me right out if I intended to buy it, and I looked at her straight in the face & said, “I wouldn’t have it hanging on my arm for any other reason now, would I?” Hahahaha, I’m still killing myself laughing over the stupidity of some, in this respect alone.


Reading magazines here & there, while researching what affects people’s strange behaviour, there is also something I remember seeing somewhere where it said that a woman who has PMS or is on her period, way-elle, she’ll go out & buy things she has absolutely no use for whatsoever while she’s flying out on shopping sprees for hours on end, racking up her credit even higher at these times while her mind is racked with frustration, and the material I was reading pointed out an item a woman might choose, for example a yellow dress with red polka dots. She’ll take it home, maybe wear it once, then let it fade away somewhere in the confines of her probably-messy closet…& I’ll bet my bottom dollar on that, folks! Well, before I leave you to finish tidying out my treasures & trivias I’ve dug out from mine, I shall leave you with an amusing artifact I found on the internet that suits me quite fine for a funky dress-down day, sorta like this one seems to be for me. Check out this chickie! The bird isn’t wearing any shoes to match her outfit. But that’s just like me too, because I don’t need any shoes when I like to wear everyone else’s, & by that I mean putting myself in other people’s shoes. You guys (& I mean that literally) should try it out some time.


Fly-by-night outfit

Fly-by-night outfit


NOTE: It took this bird about ½ an hour to write this funkadelic blog & as she glanced out the window directly thereafter, there goes a flock of birds flying right by her (headed in the right direction, by the way) and no, they weren’t people or women, but actually the ones some people shoot down  & eat… ‘right’ outta the sky,  as in this case.




One Response to “Flocks of Birds (Heading in the Wrong Direction)”

  1. thelightningphoenix January 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    How many miles did I walk for 900 words?
    That is a good Q! 😉

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