A1 Tips For Mysogynist Pleezers

5 Jul

(excerpts of which have been copied from “The Pleasers: Women who can’t say NO and the men who control them” by Dr Kevin Leman, 1987), as follows:

The misogynist has the overwhelming need to control, and his chief weapons are words and moods. He may physically abuse you, but he is far more likely to specialize in psychological battery, which can be just as destructive as physical blows, if not more so. If you suspect you are getting “mysogynized” by anyone (Edith Carolyn Kuechen is stressing here, as this applies to both genders, not only men, in my opinion), here are some key signs:

They believe it is their right to control you and in trying to please them you may have decided to give up activities or people you felt were important to you just to keep life smooth.

They put you down and either “blow their top” or turn to ice when you disappoint them. You do a lot of “walking on eggs”, always trying to think of the right thing to do or say, so they won’t be upset.

They can be Jekyll-and-Hyde types – charming and even affectionate one moment and mean and unbelievably abusive the next. This may be especially true if they are users of alcohol or drugs. When you’re not walking on eggs you’re on pins and needles – confused, scared, feeling inadequate and no good.

In one area, however, you feel no uncertainty or confusion. There is never any doubt about who is always to blame for whatever has gone wrong, has seemed to go wrong, or what might go wrong. YOU are, period (but “only” in a mysogynist’s eyes, of course, or so Edith CK thinks anyway).

They may be very jealous and possessive, not wanting you to get out much, always wanting you at home and handy to do their bidding. One way they might show their possessiveness is to be great gift-givers. When a person places a high value on security, the controller will keep them nicely in line with lots of gifts. The controller uses gifts to keep the balance of power in their favour. They do not let their partner spend much money at their own discretion, but they lavish gifts upon the ones they are controlling, spending money  as they see fit.

They speak with anger and disrespect abiout other people including their loved ones, family and sexual partners, as well as team players like coworkers and comrades (I have also noticed), as well as expartners that have been a part of their lives. They have tempers that can erupt easily or withdraw into icy silences… for example, after an argument they equate making love with making up, or when they drink, they might be showing you a completely different person even after just a few drinks. They must win in sports, business and in love. They often complain that their employer or supervisors don’t know  what they are doing. They usually get their way in deciding where and when you’ll eat, where you’ll go, and what you’ll do PLUS change their minds frequently after making specific plans with you… hence, a controller.


Note: I have slightly edited the content of the stuff I copied*

*from the doctor who wrote the above as I saw fit


One Response to “A1 Tips For Mysogynist Pleezers”

  1. thelightningphoenix July 5, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    The reason why I like this blog is because it is
    1st one I did not have to edit after I released it.

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