Crappy Bedtime Stories

17 Aug
 
I would just like to tell you all that I’m still as sweet as can be (to most people, anyway) and I usually come out smelling like a  each and every time I go through a bit of shit that life throws my way.
 
Now that just reminded me of something unpleasant I need to do next this morning, and that is to clean out my cat’s commode – YIKES!
 
You know what that bugger did last night? He went upstairs to the 3rd floor bachelor apartment (that this fellow had been renting for about 3 weeks, up until he was arrested and thrown in jail while I was away for 3 days on the weekend) where all of his belongings are still sitting there intact, then proceeded to jump up on top of his nicely made bed that I had loaned to him out of the goodness of my , and shat a big stinky spew of diarrhea right smack damn in the middle of it!
 
He has never ever done anything like this before, but all I can do is give him a nice little pat on the back for it (hee hee hee).
 
Now that I recall, many years ago, I had this bitchy female cat who did not like my girlfriend’s little boys because they teased and tormented her all the time, and guess what she did one night when my girlfriend put her boy to sleep in my spare bedroom? The exact same thing! I can’t help but laugh about it, when I remember him crying for his mother to come, and when we went into the bedroom, he had a whole shitload of poop planted directly on top of him.
 
Now that I’ve told you my crappiest story of the day, and have shot the shit with you a wee bit, I hope you remember this stinky blog of mine, when and if someone ever tries to dump on you.
 
I’d better get back to the nitty-gritty now. It’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it!
 

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP…
 
 
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