HOLY COW! We’re just too much alike!

16 Jul
 
I remember a time when I was working 2 jobs after I became divorced about 15 yrs ago and came home late one night, cracked open a bottle of wine & began to listen to the dating line ads on the telephone. Back then most people didn’t have the luxury of the internet. When we were married to each other & my better half was working nightshifts, my girlfriend would often visit me & we’d get a kick out of listening to the funny way that people would make themselves come across to you on these dating lines, mainly the opposite way of what they really are when you get to know them, more often than not, & unfortunately for those unsuspecting masses out there. On this particular occasion, being lonely & all after a long hard day of dealing with demanding pissants from my customer-relations positions, I thought I would give it a go for a lark while getting a wee bit tipsy & smoking a fatty, and chomping on Turkish delight.
 
YIPPEE! I’m adding these to this year’s Xmess list, hee hee hee!
 
After listening to the new people on there for a bit, I decided to open up my voicemail and was absolutely shocked to find out that, after listening to the message at least a half a dozen times, even knowing for sure with incredulity at how dense some people can be at times… let’s just say that it was none other than my exhusband leaving me ,"wide open" (no pun intended ) that self-descriptive analysis of himself, and he naively (and if I may add here by saying honestly) &"honestly" left me a brief account of what I would call his best-seller lingo, the kind a marketer would use as a means of foreplay to sell their product (if ya know what I mean, Vern). And some people really take the cake at that, I must say, not that I’m saying it’s bad in any way. You’ve gotta hand it to these people! It takes a fine talent & imagination to be this type of actor. The funny thing about all of this when you think about it tho’ is that my poor little exhubby never even suspected that the person he was leaving the message for was moi.
 
 Yes, that’s me, folks!
 
You know, even though we think this is not a very good thing by not being able to listen to most people online nowadays (& who cares, really, I say) being on those telephone dating lines is the pits! How’s that for bull, even though I kept this a big secret from him for well over a decade, at least, that his fine showmanship and knack for playing out ‘old hat, old country’ courtship rituals had backfired on him! Now, how much more honourable (or honorable spelled the Amurican way ) of me can it get??? Hahaha!
 
And so it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut Jr used to say!
 
 
 
 THIS PHOTO OF A "JOKE" STICKER I BOUGHT IN GERMANY, DEPICTING A HAND-DRAWN FACSIMILE OF A
NAKED WOMAN READING A BOOK WHILE LAYING ON HER STOMACH IN A FIELD, HAS BEEN REMOVED.
 
Here’s sumfin I was just reading that really turns me on today:
 
Let me take you to the movies. Can I take you to the show
Let me be yours ever truly. Can I make your garden grow  

From the houses of the holy, we can watch the white doves go
From the door comes Satan’s daughter , and it only goes to show. You know.

There’s an angel on my shoulder, In my hand a sword of gold
Let me wander in your garden. And the seeds of I’ll sow. You know.

So the world is spinning faster. Are you dizzy when you’re stoned
Let the music be your master. Will you heed the master’s call
Oh… Satan  and man.

Said there ain’t no use in crying. Cause it will only, only drive you mad
Does it hurt to hear them lying?  Was this the only world you had? Oh-oh

So let me take you, take you to the movie. Can I take you, baby, to the show.
Why don’t you let me be yours ever truly. Can I make your garden grow
You know.

 
 
YAY! Now that we found that Houses of the Holy tune, when’s dinner?
 
 
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One Response to “HOLY COW! We’re just too much alike!”

  1. Cinderella Story July 17, 2010 at 8:56 am #

    Speaking of sweets, how \’bout some scooby snacks for dessert? No, not the Scottish kind; I fix my burgers way better. Actually, I\’m thinking of making a simply divine \’n delish recipe for cocktails made with Malibu® coconut rum, creme de bananes, Midori® melon liqueur, pineapple juice & whipped cream. OOPS! I almost forgot to mention the cherry!

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