To Have & To Hold

4 Jun
In my books, this does not include doing what you’re told. I don’t give a rat’s arss what the marriage-class brochure says about a quiet woman being a boon to her husband and it really irks me how anyone would fall for a crock of crap like that. It all sounds very Stepfordish to me, that’s for sure. As I just expressed on a network friend’s profe page, is anything or anyone normal anymore? What you consider normal might not be for others & vice-versa.
Can you believe this couple’s birthdays fall on the same day?
What I don’t understand is why a person feels impelled to control their partner especially when they already have found everything they’d ever want in one? Perhaps because sometimes things are just too good to be true, and some people just can’t handle having someone who’s all-around wonderful, so they end up destroying everything they’ve built together with nothing but their own stupidity. If people exercised using their power to create beautiful things & respected each other’s preferences, habits, talents & need for space, including personal growth, relationships would be a piece of cake, but no! Their discontentment & inability to be satisfied will ultimately lead them into nothing but a life of loneliness & even greater sorrow.

Do they not see that they should have been content with their chosen partner to begin with rather than having to exercise power & control tactics to prove what really? It only shows that these couples are only going thru the motions of trying to be like the Joneses, and they really don’t know what they want anymore. I speak from my own experience at failed relationships & what should have been a lasting marriage, and also from taking a good look at the ones around me. I’m surprised that the couples whom I thought had their stuff intact are no longer together either. So now I don’t feel so bad about my own past mistakes because many of my friends envied me & admired me for maintaining what appeared to them to be a successful & loving relationship, and they’ve even gone so far as to say that I was their role model back then (but not now). Go figure!
I’m ashamed to say that I failed to meet their expectations of me but they now see that nothing is really what it appears to be on the outside. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors nor would I want to know either, for I have heard it all & nothing surprises me. What I am most certainly sure of is that we are all the same & no one is much different than the other, regardless of race, creed, social or financial status.
People should stick with the person they felt comfortable with in the first place & stick it thru with them. This is entertainer Will Smith’s philosophy more or less. I’m shedding tears right now wondering why it’s so difficult for people to live in harmony together & stay committed to each other. I honestly don’t think that divorced people, both male & female, are truly happy being alone & going home alone to an empty, quiet home each & every day, do you?
I guess that’s why people get themselves pets. You can hug, kiss , cuddle ‘n’ snuggle ’em all you want to, as well as spend time away from each other occupied with your own interests at times, plus you can be mean to them (not that I’m condoning this) & they’ll always quickly forgive you after you’ve expressed how sorry you were for behaving like this & they’ll also quickly forget about it & keep on loving you anyway. On the other hand, you can also do this with a whore you’ve picked up off the street & she’ll probably eat your sh*t, too!
Isn’t that the sad truth of it all? But please don’t take any offense to my opinions for they are only my own observations based on what I’ve been seeing & hearing thru-out my life. It’s just too bad most people can’t be this way. By that I don’t mean like those hard-done-by prostitutes out there, but just by being content with all the wonderful things they already have right in their laps. I think it’s time we paid more attention to how animals get along with each other. I’ve said enough for now. I just wanted to speak out about what’s been bothering the heck out of me for the past several months I haven’t been around much.
Sure, I did get a lot accomplished around my place inside & I’m really proud of the way it’s looking and all the clutter I’ve rid myself of & all the time I’ve spent re-organizing, designing & revamping not only the inside of my place, but also on my own self, like my year-long neglected hair & nails, for instance, as well as taking care of my medical problems. But even though I tried very hard to work both in & out of the house, & also on building a better relationship during this time in my life, even while it all appeared & felt so great all the way around, I’m back at square 1 again thinking it’s been nothing but a hopeless cause, and a waste of precious time & strenuous effort. I do hope you’re all happy! Life’s too short to keep repeating the same mistakes.
My friend told me this a couple of years ago, but I guess that even though I tried to understand & follow his advice, it still didn’t really sink in & I just had to give it another shot, time & time again, just like when I didn’t know when to stop drinking and enough was enough, thereby causing me to feel unhealthy & worn out again. I hope everyone learns from what I’ve been trying to tell you, but you probably won’t either until you’ve repeated the same unhealthy patterns yourselves. Let’s hope this doesn’t happen with you! I’m 47 now and most of the time I still don’t think I’m much wiser than I was at the age of 17. Actually, I was probably a helluva lot more mature than I am now – reason being, I was engaged & living with a partner who felt so right for me that everything in my life felt great all the way around.
Anyone can have this no matter how young or old you are, just as long as you appreciate what you have & never think the grass is greener on the other side, because baby (if I may call you that), it definitely ain’t!



2 Responses to “To Have & To Hold”

  1. monkeys June 4, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    peoples expectations, i think that says it all really . that and THE WAY THINGS OUGHT TO BE . take what you got , don\’t try to change it/him/her,, after all thats what you accepted in the first place. sometimes people shouldn\’t live together and have a far better relationship living apart

  2. Elektra Magduhlana Marie July 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    Wow! I\’ve been so busy cleaning up the disgraceful words in eez werld that I never noticed you here, monkeys! It sure is nice to hug, kiss and snuggle, though, never mind watching each other drool on the pillow & listening to the long-winded drone of our snoring after an exhausting day (hahaha). I’m into waking up beside someone every day (or every once in a while, if it has to be that way), looking into their face & telling them how much I love them for all that they are (and truly meaning it).

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