on pissing it all away

21 Apr
 
F*ck! I just wiped out this whole blog & had to retype it all over again while trying to remember what I originally wrote to begin with, hahaha, because I did not save it to a Word document first. Now how lame-brained is that, folks?
 
Anyway, here goes – all over again! BOO HOO!
 
My long-time coming & long-awaited Bible*
quote of the day is "ask and ye shall receive".
 
Yeah… but what if you didn’t ask? I just found a direct deposit slip in my mailbox that arrived yesterday from the very same institution that was giving me a hard time last Friday, of all things! The statement shows they deposited almost $600 into my bank account for ARREARS (and yes, they showed that in bold) & may I be so bold as to tell you I’m flattered by that, and also mention to you that my friend tells people (in a joking way when it’s really not a joke) that I’m the only one he knows that can go into a government office & begin to spin like a squirrel and they’ll immediately cut me a cheque… just to get rid of me!
 
On another note, before I forget here, and now the MOS (Mistress of Switch – of topics, that is) is going to briefly mention the cheezy word strings that caught my eye this morning: Weird Al’s grammar lesson in a grocery store & Lindsay Lohan’s being "out" $600 geez and we all know where that went, don’t we? Straight up the ole nozeroo!
 
Now I suddenly feel the urge to tell you "please" DON’T DRINK & DRIVE
on this warm & sultry (I  that word) hump day in which the birds are all singing their glorious melodies.
 
 
 
I’m sure there are plenty of ways to have a pleasant whale of a good time without trying to operate any motor vehicles no matter how bored or flighty you may be feeling. That’s probably why my neighbourhood has front lawns that are all beginning to look like highway rest stops, and one of theirs even has a pond you can piss in.
 
Excuse me a moment while I go for a whiz
 
OMG! That old Canadian artist, Burton Cummings’ song just began to play on Vinyl 95 Three where he sings "never been much on religion (blah blah blah) you hear me talking, you hear my cryin’, it’s confusing to me Lord, I’m terrified (blah blah blah) I get down on my knees (blah blah blah)". And now that I think about it, that guy was a boozer, too!
 
Before I say arriva derci & get back to this new-arrival dreck I have to face here, including the mound of laundry I should be putting away (YIKES – you should see it!) I’m only going to tell you one thing about how my hair turned out last night after I spent almost 2 hours trying to look like that L’oréal model on the cover of the box, and that is they must have made a big boo-boo when they posted the colour because my shimmering golden amaretto highlights are so bright they would hurt your eyes, and underneath them it would appear my hair has been soaking in almond rocca espresso – GEIKS! (and if you don’t know what that means by now, it’s eez self-coined term for a combo of yucky, gag me with a spoon & the German word for distasteful in the way that you’d really get turned off). But I’m not complaining for it looks a lot better than it did before & is definitely an eye-catcher, that I can say to you.
 
 
*Sea… I sure ain’t being disrespectful when I capitalize the noun for probably the most-read book on the face of the planet, am I?
 
 
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2 Responses to “on pissing it all away”

  1. Paul April 21, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    Spinning like a squirrel? This is a behavior I haven\’t seen unless you\’re taking about yarn. There is a breed of squirrel around here that can knit you a pair of socks faster than you can say "Knit me knit me a pair of socks." You need socks?Hoping your whiz was wonderful.

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