19 Apr
I should never have handwritten that blog on Wednesday regarding last Tuesday being American Tax Freedom day & the following day being the very 1st day I’ve ever been in the receiving end…
 …of the food bank line, that is!
Yep, I finally decided to cash in, so to speak, by exercising my single unemployed CANADIAN woman’s freedom, right & privilege to accept help when necessary, and boy, did I feel bare-assed nekked, believe me, and in the sense one would feel when they’ve been caught with their pants down, if ya know what I mean, jelly bean.
And then, wouldn’t you know it, I get called in by some middle-woman with severely outdated files on me going back almost a decade, for a so-called financial audit a couple of days later, and she actually (& musta) had the balls (and yeah, that’s me up there in that picture, not so virtuous now, grabbing ahold of them) to insist on me providing evidence that I’m not receiving support from the man who beat & stabbed me 7 years ago, of all things (& which, of course, has been detrimental to this date, both in my home & work life, & for life, in maiming me & causing permanent physical pain & damage for the rest of my life and has ultimately led me to seek assistance in the first place, from a government I had been paying taxes to (along with school taxes, to boot) as a single childless gainfully employed woman for over 30 years. And just think – less than 3 years ago, I held 4 jobs within the same year & was making just a little more than a person receiving social assistance would, believe it or not, plus paid for the gas, insurance & maintenance on my Buick I was driving to & from work in the middle of the night, and several thousands of dollars in rent for nothing but an old unkempt dive (just like I’m still doing now). But not only that, think about all the countless years I paid for unemployment insurance only to have it run out after a short period of time & have it based only upon my most recent piddly jobs that didn’t amount to very much.
So when I became offended by the absurdity of this auditor’s questions & insinuations that I was co-habitating with someone & receiving money from someone, and her outright stupid comments to the effect that I am not allowed to receive groceries, hand-me-downs & things (as long as they’re not cash) from people, not even my lifelong friends & family, that is when my horns began to grow (hahaha) & I began to shoot my infamous evil-eye daggers at her, and in the kuhfuffle (did I spell that rite ) that ensued from her hastily trying to rid herself of me by kicking me out of her office, I somehow ended up with her form in my possession, and upon reading it when I came home bawling my eyes out, I noticed that she had ticked off something called "risk flags" & wrote "co-habitation agreement needed". It immediately appeared to me as if this dumb-assed c*nt (excuse my French) was definitely out to get me, even when I kept repeating to her that her records are wrong & that I’ve been living alone for years now. When I asked her why she was giving me the Spanish Inquisition when her records need to be updated with the others that already had them there & I began to get snarky with her from her persistency in trying to get me to admit that I’m living with a partner & treating me as if I’m a liar, she quickly gave me the boot from her office saying that I should take my things & the appointment will be rescheduled. How could someone be so petty as to suggest that I am making an income from receiving freebies from family & friends, and what’s even more funny about all of this, is that she said she’s ending the appointment because it is I who is being disrespectful to her, of all things.
All I can say is that I was feeling a little more than heated in my perimenopausal age, & did I mention bleeding abnormally like a sieve for over 10 days & for the very 1st time in only God knows how long, with something that looked like a combo of raw liver & cutlets from the soaked wads of tissue in my gotchies (photo to be published at a later date in my Not For The Bleeding Faint Of  photo album) and for which she failed to provide sanitary products for as she mentioned she would right off the bat (& which I also feel the government should be providing free of charge to all women out there, including pantyhose if they want us to work in places where they’re pretty well necessary) – my chest was aflare, I was seeing red, & if I could have breathed fire at her at that moment, there would have been nothing left of her except for a smouldering… SHIT! I’d better stop this now & get back to being positive, for I was told by my emotional abuse counsellor that Wednesday less than a week back (yeah, that hump day) that started out pretty effin’ good when I had myself some fun in the tub first thing in the morning… but that’s another story, folks  so in getting back to this bitch-assed story now that some of my fellow complainers out there have begun to rub off on me  So what? What can I say? I lost it, just like The Champ. What’s done is done & can’t be changed. All I know is that the people who love me out there (and you all know who you are ) feel that I have a lot of positive energy & influence over people (including myself) so as long as I do the best that I can each & every day, move forward & accomplish something, this is what really counts in my life. I have to keep thinking that the positive things around me far outnumber the negative, the "small" stuff – just like that woman who I could have squished just like they used to do when they squashed grapes with their feet (remember that old Lucy show?) or in that old Canadian comedy show, Kids In The Hall. I’ve pretty well said what I had to say and get off my chest today, & I really don’t wanna jinx myself any further here.
But before I go (oh boy, you’re probably thinking, is this chick for real & does she ever STFU?), I’d just like to mention that I had a job interview on Monday for the position of data entry operations associate for a new branch office here (which are few & far between) and I’m going to pursue a career in display artistry for the time-being (which I might fill you in on later once I finish stocking the shelves ). I don’t have much of a mess left or even much left in my closets, cubby holes, nooks ‘n crannies either anymore. I’ve been doing a complete major overhaul on my life all the way around & I feel stronger than ever sometimes, yet on the other hand, I can just break down at the blink of an eye my hormones have been so out of wack (spelled rite?). Lately (& during my shitty emotional outbursts and days spent sulking in bed) I’ve been feeling the urge to write a letter to a dear woman who used to have the same type of problems as I do now (both emotionally & physically) at pretty well exactly the same age as me (way back when) but I never gave her much sympathy or understanding at the time until I walked in her own shoes, and boy, does it ever suck being a woman (especially when your boobs are sore) I’m afraid to say, even though I thoroughly enjoy my privates  OOPS! Did I just say that? Oh well! I guess you already know that nothing much is private with me anyway. At least I still have a sense of humour & am keeping my wits about me, and I will still to this very day challenge anyone out there to a spelling or typing contest, or even find the courage & strength to challenge the system if it comes to that.
PS  Thanks for the food & the reaming, you bugger! Better from you than from them

One Response to “IN FOR A GOOD REAMING”

  1. monkeys April 19, 2010 at 1:21 pm #

    come the revolution, the little hitler\’s will be the first up against the wall. these people should be pyschologically tested and rejected before any employment oppertunities ,that allow any sort of infuence over the general population. they make me aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh!

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