10 Dec
THIS BLOG IS NOT VISIBLE TO THE PUBLIC EYE………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
 Looks like my dawg’s dish is full here. Not only have I become targeted as a fine piece of prey for several people in the not-so-distant past, including sociopaths, who have begun to pester me to no end again & as of late, and why? This is just another primo example of sociopaths bent on destroying the lives of others who are happy & productive, because they themselves are not at peace within themselves. I know I’ve said this many times in the past 6 yrs or so while I have been trying to recover myself from a horrible & maiming injury (also sustained from an uneducated hatemonger), that I am taking my leave of this homestead once & for all, but the time is drawing very shortly nearer to me saying farewell, without even bidding anyone adieu this time or even telling anyone where I’m going or what my phone number is. Weaving straw hats on a beach on a far away , digging for fossils & panning for gold is beginning to sound like a better-than-good idea to me!
When I am alone, no one ever calls me, but when I have company, the phone rings incessantly, coming from a Restricted number, so finally my friend answered the phone last night & no one answered. On the weekend, when my mother knew that I was busy, she called my phone several times while it was in my purse. This is beginning to remind me of one of Dustin Hoffman’s latest movies – that one about Stanley… uno, that misunderstood divorcé who ‘rescued the spinster’, hee hee hee! So if any of you are wondering why I’m not answering my phone lately, this is why (& where text-messaging comes in handy 😉 but most importantly, all I can do right now is smile, grin and bear it (because you all make me grin ‘n chuckle when sometimes I can’t bear it anymore 😉 while knowing that I’m not the only one in this great big sea of fisheez who has problems, that my tummy is full, I’m relatively sane (no pun intended here), most of my marbles are intact, I have meds (Lorazepam if I need them, esp. @ Xmas, alas), my passions & my friends, including a mound of paperwork here for my upcoming appointments today & for the rest of the week, plus a mounda cookeez to bake. And f**k the rest of ’em (esp. the vimen) ex-use my French.
Sometimes blood is not thicker than water, I’m afraid to say, my fine-feathered frenz. WML (& if yooz don’t know what that means, it’s WISH ME LUCK). TTLA (Thank The Lord Above) that I have people who are close to me at this time – real in-the-flesh people, that is! Whew!!!
I’d better skip to my loo & get this house barricaded now… and no, not from psykoze! From the winter, silleez – it’s awfully windy & cold, but my internets prevail, for I am the one & only Lightning পূজা-Φοῖνιξ.
Oh, and if anyone treats me like another JL, you’ll know why, haha! That was an "inside joke". As usual, have a good one!

2 Responses to “!”

  1. Unknown December 16, 2009 at 5:23 am #

    Christ on Crutches!!! I am so sorry that you have to go through so much bullshit! Being strong is when you hear the crap people say about you, but don\’t care, because you know it\’s not true and those that know you… know it\’s not true either. And that\’s all that matters. Hang in there. It\’s hard to beat a person who never gives up!!

  2. ♥ Bekkie January 11, 2010 at 9:02 pm #

    Seth is sure right on that girl! Digging for fossils is great fun I enjoyed all my volunteer work I did at the Geology Museum, but that\’s not the point. Look, I got a family and why don\’t I talk about them or post their pics very much? Cause all they live for when it comes to anyone but themselves is to is use and hurt them….especially me. I am the first Grand Child and the only daughter my mother has. I have been there when she needed me and how am I being repaid? By being hated and ignored by the whole bunch of them. I\’m my brother\’s kids only Aunt and by teaching them to hate me too I lost that special bond I had with them even! Instead my 2 step brothers and 2 step sisters (who all had their college educations paid for by their dad) seem more important. My brother and I were never even offered help with college, just his kids and my mom let it happen. When he passed away in 2002 his 4 kids got to split a million dollars between them. My brother and I got nothing. My brother has everything but he\’s so greedy as soon as my step dad passed away he moved mom by them in Florida and slowly worked me out of my mom\’s life by telling her all kinds of lies, took over her life and now I can\’t even visit my mother without his approval. My mom fell for it all too and when she passes he (under the cover of helping her out) is going to get her land and everything. I\’m the poorest in our family (money wise) plus my disability and I don\’t even get cards from my own mother for my Birthday, Christmas, nothing but a lump of coal for me! So I do know and understand somewhat what you are feeling and going through. There is so much goodness to say about forgiveness but sometimes you get hurt so bad you just want to stay away from that pain cause it\’s inoperable and in the end could kill you! Especially when it comes to family. Blood isn\’t thicker than water I agree and my horrible family is proof of that! Have a good week and if they get on your case too much they don\’t belong in your life!

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