My Sister Barbara’s Blog on FORGIVENESS

7 Nov

The Sin of Forgiveness

 I don’t believe in unconditional forgiveness.

 If that makes me a b*tch, then I am a b*tch.

 Forgiveness can ONLY be an ongoing process between victim and someone they’ve hurt.

You can not forgive the unrepentent.

 Some things you can not forgive. The whole "forgiveness" movement makes my stomach churn.
 They deny the long term effects of abuse, even subtle abuse and try to make the victim feel even worse.
 It’s sickening and its wrong.


I am open to truth and honest dialog between myself and anyone who has hurt me or anyone I have hurt. The formers usually dig in its heels like a 6 year old and dismisses me out of hand painting me as "crazy" (because I believe we all owe each other accountability). The latter would rather hate & smear than have actual dialog. Still, I have done both with a couple people and do believe in restorative justice.

Does that make me nasty or unable to "get past it"? No.

It means I have enough self-esteem now to let people know when they hurt me, call them on their behavior towards me, back-up my response to their abuse and ask for accountability.

But… blanket forgiveness? No.

The following article, excerpted from ‘The Survivor Activist‘, deals mainly with the response toward child abusers. However, the principles detailed are applicable to all sexual or verbal, emotional or psychological abuse.


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