on being an illiterate ditz

16 Oct
One of my English teachers in high school once told me that I should take a good look at some of Samuel L. Clemens’ (aka Mark Twain) novels & how one of the wisest & wittiest authors of all time did not use proper grammar, had not much use for paragraphing nor punctuation, and made excellent usage of the run-on sentence.

What I’m trying to say here is that stupid is as stupid does (as Forrest Gump’s mother said) & if you don’t have anything good to say about me or anything else, then keep your fucking Venus Fly Trap shut, please & thanks.

Mark Twain on writing:

On Getting the Right Word in the Right Place ~
To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself. . . . Anybody can have ideas–the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. (Letter to Emeline Beach, February 1868)

On the Rules of Grammar ~
I am almost sure by witness of my ear, but cannot be positive, for I know grammar by ear only, not by note, not by the rules. A generation ago I knew the rules–knew them by heart, word for word, though not their meanings–and I still know one of them: the one which says–but never mind, it will come back to me presently. (The Autobiography of Mark Twain, 1924)

Always acknowledge a fault.

This will throw those in authority off their guard & give you an opportunity to commit more. (Mark Twain)

 eez not that bad considering she grew up speaking mainly German & Austrian for the first crucial years of her life then ended up receiving First Class Honours in the Royal Conservatory of Music (playing classical piano), being a Grade A student (who rarely studied for tests & exams), skipped Grade 3, won almost every spelling bee & is able to type over 100 words per minute, when there are throngs of people out there who cannot even make it through even one book, let alone read their own name.
If you are a dits, then you can kiss my grits!

2 Responses to “on being an illiterate ditz”

  1. Unknown October 21, 2009 at 6:57 am #

    People tend to write in the way that is easiest for them. Though touch-typing is easy for me, most younger people (25-) tend to use abbreviated terms as they prefer typing that way. You\’ve just got to get used to it. I do hate RanDom CaPS. Argh…Eye tnak sumtyms peepul du this ahn purpus cos they fynt it purrtie kul to splll this whey ! Ef u kunsidur it enuf u myte c that it can b a reeel chaelnj cuming up wid the spllink they seeem to fynd natch er lee !Now I feel like I need to take a bath !

  2. ♥ Bekkie November 6, 2009 at 8:25 am #


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