AN UP & COMING TREND: Men Feigning They’re Female

25 Sep
Wow! I just talked to the real Mandy!
Boy, that imposter’s going to be in trouble tonight!
I could smell a dirty rat!
Remember, that’s why I’ve coined myself the gipsy queen! 
I just signed on here after being away since this morning & only taking 1 break, from cleaning since around 10 am, and right after I ended up wiping this nice story out by mistake, which I’m now typing over, I was thinking about the 75 yr old doors & baseboards I was scrubbing for hours on end. Just think, when I’m 80, they will be a century plus a decade in age, and I’ll probably still be cleaning them! I just don’t get some people. This girl just caught her boyfriend pretending that he was her. I told her that I was just humouring him because I already sniffed him out to be hiding something a while back & even called him a lame-brain, telling him that I get the feeling from his strange & erratic behaviour that he has a girlfriend & is trying to cheat on her. After I told him this, he did not reply, therefore I assumed I had hit the nail on the head (yet again). That was only yesterday, after he kept hitting on me sporadically for months now (a 23-24 yr old boy, at that, who apparently sired a newborn, as he was proudly boasting about it on his space). Just like Patty Hose & Heather (my-ass) Miller, who invited themselves to my network just recently; it’s the same thing with them… they’re posing as women when they’re really men. I have developed quite a knack for catching them red-handed by now!
What I don’t get is why these guys can’t try to pick up chicks the normal way, if you wanna call it that, by going out to a bar, or joining a dating club specifically for guys who want to cheat on their partners. I’m sure there is one like that, for I’ve seen it on the infomercials in the middle of the night. What’s the name of it? Ashley-sumfin, I fink (as Johnny Depp will say in From Hell). I have to pity these guys for just being dumb-assed dense, as well as have a lot of sympathy for their women, for I have been there & done that (meaning, I’ve had a lot of people deceive me & play me for a fool in my lifetime). It’s so obvious to me sometimes what some of these dummies are up to that they don’t even have to tell me; I can already read these clowns like an old joke-book. If you take a look at all the contacts some of them are making, they’re all vimen. Another dead give-away is that they don’t write anything about themselves – anywhere(s), heh. They’re just your typical examples of dough-headed boyz, iz awl! I’m tired of yung-uns hitting on me. The ones my age are already childish & tiresome as it is. Why would I want Grade F beef when there’s Triple A Angus, I always say! Hee hee hee!

Getting back to eating people’s hearts out & deceiving them, ever see that Goldie Hawn movie – I bet you can guess what it’s called, eh? Now, I’m going to warn you that the mistress of switch is going to change the topic, but sheez not straying too far from it. Take a look at the word "crush". Why the heck would they call it that for when you don’t feel like you’re crashing down &/or getting crushed, but rather you are lifted right up offa your ass and get a great boost of energy & enthusiasm for getting a move-on with things, I have found from experience. When you’ve got a shine for someone, this actually motivates you to achieve as much as you possibly can in one day – and with a smile on your face!

About 10 years ago, a Cuban friend (who defected here from guess-where with a bit of his immediate family & bought a condo in the same building as mine) used to come over with another neighbour of mine shortly after some of us got in from work for the day, to say hi and shoot the shit for a while. One night, he caught me right off guard when he gave my open-concept place the once-over & remarked how I needed a boyfriend. Well, he & I burst out laughing, because I could relate to what he was saying, then immediately began to shut the doors all around & tryed to hide the sloth I had become, if you know what I mean, jelly bean!

And so it goes ~ love will lift you right up off your butt & procrastination will destroy you like a cancer. This is what I have reconfirmed today, but I’m feeling great, otherwise. Like I said yesterday, ignorance is bliss, fo-shur! I just don’t know why people can’t see it this way. If you love something, why can’t you pay attention to it & take care of it, instead of ignoring it & letting it go to waste? Hmm. People should appreciate what they have, even the elderly in their lives. Take for example the old baseboards, doors & frames that I’ve been diligently scrubbing most of the day, including the rest that goes along with it. I’d rather see it as this: I’m paying attention to what really matters in this life & as for crushes, we will see if they get crushed in life’s jar of rocks or if they end up being lifted up to fly like a witch on a broom-handle. I’m having a devil of a time while I’m typing this out here. I’d better go & take care of my hands now, for without these, I would be nuttin’.

Before I bid you adieu, how many times do I have to say it, folks? Wake up & snap out of it (as Cher said to Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck). The kodras (Austrian slang for unneutered alley cats) are in heat this week; I heard them yowling, mewling & screeching out there in the past several days, & it sure ain’t sweet music to my ears. That’s why I’ve had my own cranked to high lately, just to drown them out, haha!

Hey, everyone, especially you dorky cheatin’ men out there…
there’s a time & a place for everything, and this isn’t a dating site for cowardly imposters looking to get laid. If you can’t figure that out by now, I’ll dig up my own home-made recipe for dividing your day into portions, turning yourself into an honest & decent individual, plus making the most out of what you already have (if I can locate it in eez werld), and written by the one & only, Li’l ë-ditz. Uh huh! Stuff that in your hat!

Gotta slather some cream on these worn-out dainty fingeez of mine now! I’ll catch up with yooz later, no doubt! I still have to incorporate some of this somewhat lengthy blog of mine into another essay about what’s been on my mind lately regarding taking care of the valuable things in your life & appreciating what you already have, but before I go, I need to mention that if you’re lookin’ to pick on someone or feel like picking a fight, you’ve come to the wrong place!

And by that, I mean that I can boot you out any time I feel like it (haha). Have a better-than-good evening, y’awl!

Just don’t ask me to tuck you in &  you good-night   Don’t let the bed-bugs or any other bugs bite you this evening


One Response to “AN UP & COMING TREND: Men Feigning They’re Female”

  1. Unknown September 27, 2009 at 7:06 pm #

    Hello… my name is Seth… and I have a \’dick\’ (…referring to my penis, not Dyck, Tom or Arnold) between my legs. That would make me a man, but NOT to be confused with a desperate man. Well, I may be desperate at times, but never enough to befriend a woman on the net just for the sake of a date or to get into her pants!! I have a little more class and self respect and I would hope that most men would too. I\’ll just never understand some people\’s thinking or should I say… lack of! Geeesh, you do attract all kinds of critters dontcha?!?! – bwahahaha!

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