My fortune cookie…

20 Aug
…had a little strip of paper in it that said, "You tune in intuitively to people and situations immediately and intensely".
 
I have this fetish for building shrines around me, with special things that I like & make me feel good.
 
Today, for instance, on my monitor stand I placed my 2 Swarovski crystal shiny thangs (a unicorn & a swan), amongst other things, but rather than getting into that, I’m gonna take a photo so you can see for yourselves how off-the-wall I am…
 
 
I built a similar shrine around me last year in my bedroom shortly before my long lost cousin from Germany called me up within the very same day of me watching a video with her in it & wishing that I could speak to her again after not hearing from her in several years. This has not only happened with her, but also with other special people I’ve known in my life, in the very same way!
 
I AM FREAKED OUT RIGHT NOW, BIG-TIME!!!

How did my gipsy feelers pick up on all of this stuff I’ve been writing about lately in the past several months. It’s driving me bonkers, really!

 
Why are my gipsy "tents" doing this? Dreaming of these things to research, think & write about, then finding out later in an uncanny way how I’m somehow plugged into some kinda telepathic outlet of some sort, hahaha!

Hmmm… is my leg being pulled here or what? Or have you just been paying attention to me?

Or maybe you’re just simply "in tune" with me – that’s probably it!

Could this black "thinking cap" of mine have sumfin to do with it, maybe?
Uno, I’ve never worn any effin’ baseball caps ever in my entire life, & now I can’t seem to keep it offa my head for very long.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY ??????

I’M FONCUSED!

I can’t sleep anymore (like most normal people do every night for up to 8 hrs) & I am only sleeping sporadically, even though I was okay there for awhile.
I can’t eat regular meals like breakfast, lunch & dinner, like I’m hoping people still do (heh) & even though I’m 134 lbs now  (22 lbs more than I was last year), I am beginning to binge-eat again.
 
WTF is happening to me? I feel haunted & disturbed. And why is this happening to me?
What kind of mystical forces are at work here & what are my dream-messages really telling me? 
 
I know I still have most of my marbles (hee hee hee) & that I am not on any daily medication other than few & far between Lorazepam for panic & anxiety attacks (and I actually had to get a prescription for it for the very 1st time in a long time a few weeks ago). I’m so against taking them that I’m nuts not to right now because they are supposed to help alleviate my symptoms! Way-elle, I’m not in a panic about anything, then I suppose I must be anxious about something. What exactly is it? Who cares? I’m tired & I’m finally sleeping (without any pills). I envy people who can just close their eyes & snore away after a few minutes; seldom does this happen to me. I might get over 8 hrs sleep once every 2 wks or so, if that.
 
I keep dreaming stuff & then waking up with thoughts in my head that make me act upon them or delve deeper into them by researching what I’m thinking.

Someone once told me (jokingly) that they should have have wacked me in the head a long time ago, hahaha!

Maybe you should have knocked some sense into me before all those monsters out there began to verbally & physically abuse me.
Who really knows anymore, eh? I don’t give 2 shits what people think about me or what I say on here. Fuck it!
 
I know who really loves me & cares about me – that’s all that really matters here!
And as far as being negative goes, I’d rather bite my tongue right off before I ever nitpick & complain about anything ever again. So be it!
Now I’m going to get the best sleep I’ve had in a while. WML
 
PS  Whatever is bothering me right now is between me, my fortune cookie, my angel & my demon, and I will just let nature takes its course, as always
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