30 Jun
How many times do I have to go thru this before I finally learn to be careful with my thoughts? A few days ago, I was telling a friend about how good everything seemed to be going with my bro lately. I added the term "knock on wood" to the converso, then commented on how every time I say this, something negative usually happens a short while later to disprove all the positive things I just said. Could it be that by knocking on wood we are actually inviting something bad to happen by not trusting our positive thoughts alone without the aid of any reinforcement to our nagging doubts? I don’t know if this is making any sense to you, but I sure as hell wish that my mind wasn’t concentrating on some of the stuff I’ve been writing about in the past several days, because last night, at around 9:30 pm, the police took my bro (who lives in the unit below me) away for peeping (in an elderly woman’s window while standing on a ladder & sporting women’s attire)… and yah, I was trying not to laugh too loud while covering my mouth up & the cop just grinned back at me  … & I received this Candid-Camera worthy-of-a-shot info straight from the horse’s mouth, from both the police officer & the victim(s), when I went out front to find out what the commotion was all about. After they took my bro away & I was trying to lock his place up (out of the goodness of my ), the next-door neighbours began to bombard me with questions.

Just to let you know, that whether he was cross-dressed or not, this is not the first time he’s terrorized the neighbours & the police were summoned. I am pretty shaken up right now & downright embarrassed all the way around, along with feeling victimized myself by having been put on the spot again just by being in this house, and being questioned by the police & the neighbours again, who asked me why I cannot have him committed & if he is dangerous enough to hurt someone. I informed them that the police told me several times that in order to have him put away, he would actually have to physically hurt himself or someone else. Then the neighbours became alarmed & told me that I should be feeling very unsafe in this house all the way around, just by knowing that there are a lot of people who are angry & have it in for my bro. And who’s to say that someone wouldn’t be capable of shooting at our windows, throwing a bomb at our house or even burning it down for that matter? I feel sick to my stomach right now. I couldn’t sleep last night plus I’m feeling very paranoid right now, thinking that everyone’s watching this house and talking about us … I feel so fucking uneasy being put in this predicament yet again, just when I thought that everything had died down and things were getting better.

What really irks me is that the police told me they found pot in his place & remarked to me that "oh, it’s nothing & he won’t be arrested for it" and they actually left it there! Yet I was charged for possessing marijuana last year – the equivalent of 2 home-grown joints – which the police found inside of my purse or carrying bag "after" they put me in jail for the very first time in my life (at the age of 45) for frisbeeing a diary & shooting an onion at someone (with absolutely no witnesses whatsoever to back up the accusations). WTF gives there?

Last night, the cop that took my bro away (for less than 2 hours, at that) told me that my bro had been drinking & smoking pot when he peeped into my neighbour’s window (while standing on that ladder & dressed in those women’s clothes, as I already mentioned above). I informed the police officer that it’s not the pot that’s making my bro play loonie tunes, but rather the undiagnosed disease he was born with that cannot be treated unless he quits drinking. No doctor will help him with meds unless he gets off the booze. Another thing that ticks me off is how they let him come back home again after only keeping him for a short amount of time. But now I fucking get it – the meaning of it all… no wonder my neighbours are concerned for all of our well-being, because my brother is sick – mentally ill & I actually overhead him myself talking in the backyard with the police officer, and in no way did my brother appear to be so fall-down drunk that his manner of speech could it give away. He was, in fact, speaking very seriously & playing dumb all the way, because, just remember, as an outsider up here with my window open & just listening to the lilt & tone of their voices (but not actually hearing any words up here with the computer, fan & air conditioner running), all I know is that my brother appeared in every way to be straight (& actually reminded me of my mother when she plays her dumb-act). When I went into his place, it appeared as it he had been in the middle of cooking dinner (and the police informed me that they had to turn his stove off – which is another scary trait of his BTW) – I counted less than 6 bottles of beer that he may have drank, and believe me, I would never "pull that kind of shit on" (at the most) 6 bottles of strong beer… I’ve even had about 30 drinks gone in several hours, but can still remember every single thing I’ve done & said, plus knew enough to eat & go to bed as soon as I got back in (plus eat tons of food while I was drinking). No, my bro is sick & that’s all there is to it. I strongly believe that my mother has something in common with him in that area as well. When I moved away for a short while last year, my neighbour from across the street (who I have nicknamed Gladys Krabitz) told me  that my bro had been drinking all afternoon one day, and began to model various women’s outfits from out front of the house, while flashing his nekked privates for all the world to see & ranting ‘n raving to passersby. Someone apparently had enough of their little child seeing this & called the cops. And from what I gathered from the neighbours, the cops that removed him that day just ended up bringing him home a couple of hours later, too  … I ended up finding bags of the clothes that he must have been wearing on the front lawn one afternoon, and for the life of me & everyone I know, we cannot figure out where he’d been getting them from. Upon opening up the bags in front of my friends, I immediately recognized the items inside as those belonging to my deceased grandmother! I have also been told by my friend that my bro had been frequenting her place & trying out her undergarments, and one day was actually caught revelling in them when her boyfriend walked into her house & caught him 

In case you are not aware of this, I was arrested & thrown in jail for the very first time in my life (as I’ve already mentioned) for frisbeeing a dollar-store diary & with absolutely no witnesses whatsoever to back up the complainant’s accusations. And thereafter, when I made my next appearance in court, I was even charged with possession of maybe 2 joints worth of shitty homegrown that probably didn’t have much THC in it to begin with. Quite a while ago & long before I was arrested, my doctor was going to prescribe THC pills for me to help with the pain of my permanent injuries I sustained 6 yrs ago & he even commented on how he knew that I preferred to smoke it instead of taking pills – yet, of all people,  I am the one who gets charged for possession! And not only that, I was more or less forced to plead guilty a few weeks ago & received a conditional discharge & probation for 12 months, after I was made to feel like I had to choice but to plead guilty to (the lesser charge) of assault without a weapon and accept their "offer" to drop the marijuana  & the assault with a weapon charge (for frisbeeing the diary). Another thing that reinforced my final decision to plead guilty (& after the case was dragged on for almost 8 months) was that I was told by the duty counsel that if I had proceeded to take the case to trial without hiring a lawyer & if I had been found guilty, I would have been faced having a criminal record for the rest of my life, plus a fine for committing perjury! This only happened to me because I was too foolish not to borrow money (at least $2000) from my friends & family to pay the lawyer who said that she would get my charges dropped & the case against me dismissed, no problem, just by having me provide her with (at least 50 pages full of) evidence & details of what led up to me being charged with such a ridulous crime in the first place.

But getting back to the subject of saps… then we have this guy here, living below me, who (for many ongoing years now) has physically attacked people, including his own family members, destroyed other peoples’ property, verbally threatened people & peeps in peoples’ windows, & he seems to be able to get away with it each & every time he causes a disturbance, because he’s apparently "not sound of mind". And the very same goes with the others who have been attacking me both verbally & physically, plus destroying my property, my life & my well-being – I guess I should just brush their actions off too because they’re "mentally unfit". Hah! Now that’s a fucking joke if I’ve ever heard one, folks! How about the poor people out there who have to live with these kinds of dangerous people each & every day? How stable of mind do you think these victims really are after being subjected to this craziness for years on end? There’s your fucking answer!

I am fed up with the system & I have had it up to here with my fucking family (who keeps turning a blind eye to the problem). As far as I’m concerned, if people want to shoot Q’s, they can direct them all at my mother from now on, for she’s the one who should be feeling the brunt of this whole mess. I’m even afraid to turn on my phone today, because I know she only be calling me steadily throughout the day & grilling me for info. I wouldn’t put it past her to blame her son’s behaviour on me again, by insinuating that I did something to provoke him, like she has already done to me numerous times before in the past, even though I’m usually pussy-footing around up here & not even making so much as a peep. And speakin’ of the nosy Parkers, my neighbour’s daughter was extremely upset with my mother, because she could not figure out how my mother knew so much about her  … all I know is, "I gotta get outta heeere! STOP THE INSANITY! Hee hee hee heeeeeeeh!

The last time I spoke to my brother was in November, when I ‘myself’ called the police (because he was terrorizing me by shouting out obscenities & had turned off my hydro), then called them back to cancel the call because I no longer wanted to get involved. But then a neighbour ended up calling them anyway because my bro had fucked with them to somehow. My mother does nothing but protect him & blame his behaviour on everything & everyone else. I am at my wit’s end here & once again, at a complete loss. If I had the bucks right now, I would just move the hell away from this never-ending nightmare.

In light of the concerns I’ve expressed above, I felt an urgent need to tell you about what happened last night, just in case there is any bad aftermath. I need all the support I can get right now for I’m feeling even more threatened than I already was to begin with, just by having to live in this God-forsaken house while being made to feel as if I’m walking on eggshells most of the time. WML (wish me luck) because I’m really going to need it!

I’ve said it before & I will say it again… I feel that because I am a single woman & a "misfortunate" in some peoples’ eyes, that this is the simple reason for the grave injustices that have inflicted upon me during the past decade or so. Maybe I should just join ’em if I can’t beat ’em today by going out & buying a case of the strongest beer available, downing them one after the other, then streaking nekked throughout the neighbourhood, or maybe even topless, which is a better idea because it’s legal in Canada now … who fucking knows anymore, really?!?!



  1. ♥ Bekkie June 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm #

    Why don\’t you kick your brother out? He sounds like a pain to you and you\’re neighbors! ♥

  2. ≈whispering leaves July 3, 2009 at 6:17 pm #

    Chief Seattle "When the Earth is sick, the animals will begin to disappear, when that happens, The Warriors of the Rainbow will come to save them."~peace~

  3. Nai July 29, 2009 at 8:59 pm #


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: