Who’s your mama?

15 May

…e-squid? She wuz chattin with a mumzi this morn (while downing one cuppa coawfee after another, watering plants & filing various things), and the subject was lingering more or less on mothering, with a li’l bitta suckling to go with it. He said that his daughter surprised him yesterday with an ice-cream cake that had Happy Mom’s Day written on it, to acknowledge & praise him for being a single mother.

         Li’l e told him that she is also proud of him, but not in the sense of being one of the 7 deadly sins, that is, and she wished her mumzi could have been here with her at 3am today, ‘cus shortly after turning out the lights & turning in, from just outside & below her bedroom window, someone started making the strangest noises she’d ever heard (other than the imaginary depicted broo-haha from aliens in movies & the burble produced from people who speak in tongues). They sounded like a combo of the girl snortin’ Ajax in the Cheech & Chong movie Up In Smoke & some kinda weird gurgly gibberish like the kind that was spewed out from the aliens in the movie Signs. She was a wee bit spooked out & just laid there without moving for awhile, just listening to it & trying to figure out what the fuck those noises were & what the hell the person making them was on! Who knows? It could have been one of her bro’s fwenz, a cracker, a drifter, a vampire, a combo of them, a combo of any of the above, or all of the above. She decided to go to sleep & mind her own bidness… uno, like those 3 monkeys who hear no evil, see no evil & speak no evil?

         So getting back on to the topic of who your "ma" is & if ya haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a coupla hints – they don’t necessarily have to be your biological mother nor do they have to be female in gender. Mama mia, boy! Just watch some of those mumzi films like Three Men & A Baby, She’s So Lovely, Pretty Woman, My Fair Lady, and that Sean Penn one where he played a mentally-handicapped single father.

         In Li’l eez “reality show”, her mumzies have actually taught her (& are still teaching her) the basic life skills which should have been displayed & instilled upon her at a very early age by her own biological mother (who has never acknowledged to this very day that she is in dire need of these parenting know-hows). Then her grandmother took over from where her mother left off & raised her thru a child’s most turbulent & rebellious years… "P-U"berty.

         All of these reasons are why I have nicknamed the kindsa mothers I’ve been recognizing & feeling proud of today as mumzies, for they are the epitomy of “mom”, especially single fathers & mothers, when they play the difficult parts of both mother & father. If these mums are growing ever quicker in number each & every single, solitary day, then why shouldn’t their social status fluorish high as well? I’m definitely not singling out gay relationships either, for that matter. Sugar-daddies, on the other hand, now you gotta hand it to ‘em, for they practise parenting skills all the way around! Remember this, folks: the next time you’re thinking about your mother, don’t forget to include all of your mumzies in your thoughts.

                 

PS  The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, so yippee kiyay, mo-effers!

 

TIP OF THE DAY: Get witit*

*get offa da tit!

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