ON THE BUSES (eez Quad of Bus-Stories)

16 Feb

At the back & very last row of the Grade-8 school-trip bus with my best-friend Laurie we chanted our fave Elton John songs  at the top of our lungs & out of the windows, especially Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting, while the Scottish chickies in the middle were trying to drown us out with Saturday Night by that one-hit-wunder band, see if you can name them – they wore tartans, haha! You guessed it – the Bay City Rollersmy friend Debie actually wore her old orange/green/black Roller socks to the Corktown in the past year or so & rec’d an autographed pic of her kissing the lead singer, hee hee hee!

On the westbound King bus at the age of 14 going home after my part-time workshift to my grandma’s (my legal guardian after I ran away from a cult posing as wards of the Children’s Aid a few months before), I overhead a conversation ensue between a young girl about my age & an older woman. They appeared to be acquainted with each other already & the young girl was telling the woman how she had just recently moved in with Lil, her new foster-mother, and how Lil was going to be taking her & the other girls that lived with her to a farm on the weekend. She was quite excited about the whole thing. I knew I only had about 2 or 3 stops left before I had to get off, so I immediately placed myself in the seat directly behind them & warned the young lady  by summing up to her the tale of what happened to me during my short 2 1/2 month stay with Lil using as many lurid details as I possibly could get in before I had to get off the bus…I will fill you anxious folks in on eez Cult-life at a later time! Now back to the bus-story…I then rang the bell, and got off at Rock Express, where the tickets were purchased 17 years later for going…

On the U2 Achtung-Baby concert tour bus with several friends where we were partying hardy  smookin’ doobie after doobie (looking through a type of smoky haze resembling a Cheech & Chongy scenario), drinking as many alcoholic beverages as we could get into ourselves before the concert, while listening to U2 tunes cranked and collecting money inside of a baseball hat passed around amongst the wild & crazy U2 fans on board (as a token of appreciation for the bus-driver). All of a sudden, just out of the blue, a couple asked us if the bus was going to the Neil Diamond concert. Well, we were all trying to keep a straight face while replying to their query, and the people on the bus who were within an earshot of us & who had overheard the by-then nervous & fidgety helpless duo, finally joined up in an all-out burst of gut-busting laughter. Appearing both dismayed & perplexed, the two of them proceeded to question the bus driver, who not only informed them that the bus was not going to the Neil Diamond concert, but that they were also heading in the opposite direction, after they asked him if the bus was even going to Buffalo. So the bus driver had to let them off on the side of the highway, halfway to Toronto. We wished them luck & a Bon Voyage! After the couple was let off &  left there stranded, the half-in-the-bag debaucherous busfolk fell into an uproar of bellowing & howling which lasted well up until we arrived at the stadium…talk about ditsiness, hee hee hee; especially when we were playing U2 for at least an hour already.

On our Lulu’s bar-night-out rented schoolbus with several friends where we were partying hardy  smookin’ doobie after doobie (looking through a type of smoky hazy resembling a Cheech & Chongy scenario…and yeah, you’re not stoned – THIS IS THE FOURTH PARAGRAPH)…all the while with our knees squished almost all the way up to our chests. Bear in mind the schoolbus seats were designed for young children, not childish adults mostly over the age of 30. At one point, these juvenile grown-ups were actually chanting to Stayin’ Alive (a remake of the Bee Gees tune, by N-Trance), and at the end of each line of the lyrics that say ALIVE, we were screaming it right out, "ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVE"…the poor bus-driver! I wonder if he’s partially deaf now  


A Bus in Amsterdam



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